BBBBQ in the Fort

Spring is approaching, our winter fat is melting away and its time to show some skin. But seeing as how we're from Texas, our bodies need to match our identity. That means its time to load up on BBQ and put on our "summer coats" of blubber.

BBBBQ - Best Bar B Que in the Fort. The extra B is for BYOBB. That extra B is a typo (you saw that coming didn't you?).

A suggestion by one of the lawyer friends spawned an idea. What if a few people tried a bunch of BBQ places in the Fort and then reported their findings. A no holds bar (b que) showdown.

Spring is approaching which means summer is almost here. These times always make me think of BBQ and driving around the Hill Country and listening to some Texas Country and wearing boots and tubin' and all that good stuff. So, somebody in this town has to get off their duff and let everybody know where to go. Off my duff I'll go.

I've already compiled a small list but I need more recommendations. Let me know if you have a favorite place or if you have heard of a place. Anyplace within 100 miles of downtown is fair game. I think 100 miles is fair because its close enough that I would be willing to go on a Saturday, but not so far that you'd drive all day long (we may have different perceptions of what a long drive is but this is my blog). We'll have a side article about places beyond that scope, but for now lets focus on places accessible with ease. Let me know if your place has a specialty that we need to try.

The current list I have includes the following: Railhead, Angelos, that small place downtown, Risky's, Longorias, The Smoke Pit, Hard Eight (Coppell), and The Feed Store (Southlake). I know there are more so give me what you've got. I would prefer to stay away from the big chains but if they have roots in Fort Worth, they're fair game. The only rule is that we have to be able to eat at the original (it must be w/in 100 miles). We're looking for BBQ places, and not places that just happen to have BBQ on the menu. BBQ needs to be the focus. Don't recommend Cracker Barrel, because then I'll be forced to write some polite reply that isn't sincere.

The judging will be based on the following: Chopped or Sliced beef sandwich, ribs, beans, one cold side (probably potato salad), cobbler (if its cheap), beer availability, overall price, ambiance, and intangibles. Intangibles are really wrapped into the ambiance, but we're going to separate that out so that we can point out some of the neat things these places have.

So, give me your suggestions within the next month or so. We'll have a full report out in early April so you've got plenty of time. If you eat at a place when they're catering for an event, get me their location because I want to eat at the actual restaurant and review it based on that (Longoria's at Rahr doesn't count).

I will continue to have other updates, but this is a side project I'll be working on with the help of some hungry friends. Feel free to rate the above items on a scale of 1-10 and we'll include those in the results.

If you're afraid of posting comments please email me at fortworthholeinthewall@yahoo.com

Sushi Axiom

In my never ending yuppie quest, I tried another sushi place this past weekend and I know how you all can't wait to read my review. It was good. Thanks for reading this week.

Obviously I couldn't stop with three "sentences". And you can probably see all the text below.

This trip was with the typical lawyer friend and another lawyer friend. It turns out that sushi is better done with three or four paying people because it seems to spread the cost out. With that in mind, we put all of our beer's on one guys tab and didn't pay him back at the dinner table. Thats another reason to go with others...

I was told this place would probably knock off Piranha as a favorite and I have to say...more below. I learned that teaser idea from the evening news.

Sushi Axiom is behind Central Market and is a giant open room with a bar, tables and teensy little asian women running everywhere. There had to be 100's of them. I felt like Godzilla walking around there.

Anyways, we started off with the fried calamari, which absolutely proves the oft-thought idea that frying makes everything better. Calamari, or the rocky mountain oyster of the sea, is fried and served with jalepeno slices and sauteed onions, along with an indescribable but delicious sauce. By indescribable I mean I ate there over six days ago and don't remember. I don't know how you castrate squids to get calamari (don't tell me thats not what calamari is because whatever you've heard it is, was a lie) but I bet there are some wild ocean cowboys or something. I picture them lassoing baby squid up from the depths, then they flip them out of the water and onto the deck of the boat, where two ocean cowboys pin it down while a third castrates it and tags it. The ocean cowboys wear cowboy hats and chaps just like land cowboys but also lifevests. Remember, safety first kids.

Anyways, this was a delicious dish. You could fry socks and if you served it with gravy it would be good, but this was above the sock and gravy appetizers of yesteryear. Seriously, it was good.

We also ordered some sashimi of yellowtail and salmon. Very fresh and delicious. It paired nicely with the third beer of the night. On a side note, we asked our little asian woman to spread out the food order and to not rush in bringing all the stuff we ordered. Needless to say it all come out within seconds of each other. I would complain more but I was hungry and it was good. So if you want to take your time here, order separately.

We also got some rolls. I can't remember what they were but one was fried, which as discussed above, means it was made of animal reproductive parts... wait, I mean it was good. There were two others that were also good and I get the idea that they're all pretty good except for one which was described as tasting pancakey. I'm not sure how this is bad but the guys that had it were not pleased. If you order the Aunt Jemima roll, I think you know what you're in for...

So the real purpose of this discussion is to compare this place with Piranha. As a sushi bandwagon connoisseur I have decided to pass down my judgment. Sushi Axiom probably has better food (although the rolls were drenched with more sauce than I cared for). But Piranha has the location, atmosphere and attitude. I will definitely go to Sushi Axiom again and get some of their fried calamari, but when I'm in the mood for a little more urban attitude, I'll probably go to Piranha. I think they're both great so I'm going to waffle here (not pancake) and say it depends on what you're looking for. If you don't want to deal with downtown (because you hate the success of Downtown Fort Worth) go to Sushi Axiom. If you hate urban sprawl and the idea that a restaurant could be outside the urban core, go to Piranha. Either way you'll be happy.

The prices are about even, the menus even look identical, so I would say you can't go wrong with Sushi Axiom. Let me know if you think I'm wrong. I'll explain that opinions can't be wrong, they're just different and you should respect my beliefs. Or I'll delete your comment.

I'm going to be out of town for the next week so please hold tight. I'll be back with a review of Lucille's, Angelos and Railhead. Its the BBQ head to head you've all been caring less about.

Note:  Since this review was posted, Sushi Axiom has opened a location in Montgomery Plaza, at 2600 W. 7th Street.  Check back for a review on that location.

Updates and a Mini-Review

El Asadero Update:
Get a margarita. They're pricey, but strong and well flavored. If you've been to the place immediately south of El Asadero, please let me know if its good. I really want to try it out.

Starbucks Update:
Hold on, don't get mad yet. I'm not promoting Starbucks. They have a mug with the FW skyline on there. Its overpriced and you're supporting communism by purchasing one, but if you need a little more FW each morning, this is how to do it. They really captured the beauty of Burnett Plaza...

Boomer Jacks:
This place just opened at the Montgomery Plaza and fits on this blog because its owned by a local guy out of Colleyville. They serve sandwiches, burgers, wings and other bar type food. The place has a ton of TVs and with their open air design, this place should be fun once the weather is nice.

I had their equivalent of the Whataburger Honey BBQ Chicken Strip Sandwich. Its a grilled chicken sandwich with BBQ sauce and bacon on it. Healthy and good. Lots of people comment on the fries. They're seasoned well, but a little limp. I prefer crispy fries, but these are still very good. Plus they're fresh. The onion strings were recommended by the waiter but I refused to follow like a sheep.

My buddy got the chicken strip basket and said one more strip would make it a little better deal. Three strips just weren't enough for him. He's morbidly obese and eats truckloads of pancakes for breakfast though.

There is another location or two of this place and one of my only complaints is that it feels very chainish. I know I know, it sounds like I have the "I don't like this band because they're on MTV now" syndrome, but they could have given it a little more personality in my opinion. This isn't like the other places I post on that have interesting people or really good food. Its just your regular bar stuff. But with all the TVs and open air feeling it will be cool to watch games and go for happy hour. I just wish it felt a little more unique. This, coming from the guy who commented on Starbucks...

Palio's Pizza:
Apparently one of these recently opened in Southwest FW. They have a restaurant in Colleyville and another up in the "cities north of dallas" area. So they're not really a hole in the wall but they're local and I think they can fit in to this blog. This has got to be one of my favorite yuppie pizza places. The pizza ingredients are all fresh, you can take your own wine. Plus, looking down your nose at the people ordering pepperoni and cheese (how do they live like that?) is free. Thats not true at all. The place seems very casual and relaxed and I have never had a bad pizza there.

Cleanlinessitude:
Men's Health has compiled a ranking of 101 cities based on cleanliness of their restaurants. The information is based off of foodborne illness outbreaks. Plano, Arlington and Fort Worth made it into the top ten. Dead last - Lubbock. So go ahead, have all the larb you want here in town. But if you go to Lubbock, just order the....wait. Don't go to Lubbock. Ever.

Finally:
I am working hard to get to the Love Shack, King Tut, Benitos, Cafe Chadra and some Mexican place I heard about up on 25th street, north of Downtown. If you've got any other recommendations, please let me know.

Sikhay

Every so often, my gentle readers provide suggestions of places to go. Recently, I was told of a Thai place in Haltom City. To protect the privacy of the suggestor, I'll assign him a Texas Country Singer's alias. Roger Creager suggested that I try out Sikhay and Nipa. Both are on 28th Street, east of Sylvania. Being the adventurous sort, I went to Sikhay.

Before this past week, I had never actually eaten Thai food. I've always wanted to try it because the cool kids always ate at that little Thai place around the corner. Everywhere you go, there's a little Thai place around the corner. So I wanted to go around that corner. Now, thanks to Roger Creager, I'm a hippie (more on that below).

Sikhay is a Thai/Lao place. I believe this is referring to Thailand and Laos. My friends at the internet have confirmed this. Unfortunately, my only knowledge of Laos comes from King of the Hill, in the episode when Hank is trying to figure out where Kahn is from:

Hank: So are you Chinese or Japanese?

Kahn: I live in California last twenty years, but first come from Laos.

Hank: Huh?

Kahn: Laos. We Laotian.

Bill: The ocean? What ocean?

Kahn: We are Laotian. From Laos, stupid! It's a landlocked country in Southeast Asia. It's between Vietnam and Thailand, okay? Population 4.7 million.

Hank: So, are you Chinese or Japanese

With that in mind, I was excited. My lawyer buddy (same guy I always mention) spent some time overseas and ate a tremendous amount of pad thai so I assume he's as close to an expert as I'll get seeing as how I have no Thai friends. Also, Roger Creager told me Sikhay was the real deal.

Sikhay is at the end of a small strip center and when you walk in, it appears to be a community center with a stage, open floor plan and numerous chairs everywhere. Roger Creager told me he has seen events held in this place but that it is not the official community center of the Thai/Laos/Haltom City crowd.

When the menus came I was pretty excited to see what was offered. Unfortunately, the only things I recognized were pad thai and spring rolls. So I ordered both. The spring rolls came out first and were delicious. If you want a comparison, they were different from Pho Nam's (no full pieces of shrimp), and smaller, but better, in my opinion. They also came with some sort of sauce with peanuts on top. Good stuff, but I couldn't tell you what it was.

I know my ordering sounded easy, but there was some confusion. On one page was the selection of pad thai, on the other, was a selection of an entree called larb. Yum. I just assumed it was llama puke. Turns out that I was close. From my friends back at the internet it appears to be a sort of ceviche with beef/pork/lamb/chicken/fish. Yes, raw beef/pork/lamb/chicken. Apparently the meat is cooked in many places so that makes it a little better. After rereading the description I decided it would not be that bad if the meat was cooked. But I don't know if I'll be able to bring myself to ordering something called larb.

But I did branch way out and try a really unique dish called pad thai. Apparently this is on every Chinese restaurant menu but its completely different at a legitimate Thai place. I'm not sure what all comes in it, but there was chicken, tofu (more on this in a bit), skinny curly noodles, green onions, cilantro, spicy chili something, and peanuts. Plus I squeezed a lime on top. I'm not sure if they do that in Thailand or if they're Mexicanizing it for our Tex-Mex palates. Either way - Awesome. I probably said that a hundred times.

I'm a fan of pad thai now. I don't know what else to say about it, except you probably should not put all the chili something into the dish. Its hot. But it's a terrific dish with so many amazing flavors. As Moe once said, "its like a party in my mouth and everyone's invited."

So, after reading for thirty minutes you're wondering, why am I a hippie. Tofu is why I'm a hippie. They snuck it in and I had a bite before I even knew what it was. And the worst part was, I didn't hate it. To be honest, I didn't anything it. It was just a flavored mass of nothing undesirable or desirable. I feel like I should stop showering and go recite Yugoslavian slam poetry under some tree on a campus somewhere. Isn't that what hippies do? Maybe play some hackey sack. I know some of the readers are vegetarian and like tofu but I made a solemn promise to myself to never associate with the stuff. You know, people judge you by the proteins you eat. I was trying to keep that clean cut image. Now I just feel...healthy. I still shiver at the thought. I ate four Honey BBQ Chicken Strip Sandwiches this weekend to make up for my healthy sins.

Go check this place out. The food is terrific and the waitress we had was really nice and helpful. They only take cash and possibly checks so go prepared. The total for the two of us, with water, spring rolls, and two orders of pad thai was $20 with a tip.

Take Sylvania north to 28th and go right. It will be on your left before you get to Beach Street.