Mamma Mia

When I started typing this, these lyrics got stuck in my head:

There was something in the air that night
The stars were bright, Fernando
They were shining there for you and me
For liberty, Fernando

I hope its stuck in your head too. No, I'm not going to review the play made up of songs from the top Swedish pop group of the seventies and eighties. And no, I'm not going to make the review fit into the lyrics of Dancing Queen or Fernando. I will however, hum this song as I type most of this review. We'll all be begging for some Ace of Base just to get this out of our heads.

On a non ABBA note, there is an Italian/Algerian/Armenian restaurant on the Northeast side of Fort Worth that is worth the trip up Belknap, past the BBQ joint with girls that should wear more clothes and past the taqueria with the cock fight mural. If you're wondering what Italian/Algerian/Armenian means, please review this post (Armenian is a new addition). I still don't think a single Italian person runs a restaurant in America.

There was something in the air that night

Either way, this is your typical neighborhood Italian joint, with a twist. Its at the Race Street/Belknap intersection and its in a flat-iron-esque building. The place isn't officially a flat-iron, but its definitely on the small side of the intersection and the building inside has a great feeling. Well, part of it does - the part by all the windows. The section near the entrance feels like a big chain restaurant with its typical layout. So just ask the nice Armenian for a table by the window.

The stars were bright, Fernando

My wife and I really enjoyed our meal here for two reasons. First, I wanted chicken parmigiana and she wanted spaghetti with meatballs and they came through on both. The CP was thin enough and was cooked nicely. The pasta on the side was nice and I usually hate the pasta on the side. My wife thought the meatballs were well flavored and not too dry. The only complaint came from me and it was that the marinara sauce was a bit too sweet.

Second, the wine was cheap. So cheap that we were able to get a bottle. They have a number of bottles you can get for under $20.

They were shining there for you and me
The bread was good and the service was decent. The marinara sauce salad was decent, but the marinara was still too sweet for me. I know, its tomato vinaigrette, but its just the marinara with a little vinegar mixed in to loosen it up for the salad. This is the biggest scam at Italian/Algerian/Armenian restaurants.

For liberty, Fernando

I prefer Milano's food to the food here, but the total cost was cheaper at Mamma Mia's and I had an inspiration to sing ABBA all night long. So I guess its a draw.

Fernando, check them out and let me know what you think. Its at 3124 E. Belknap in the Fort.

Hicken Bereavement

This may be old news to many, but as I just came out of mourning, its time for me to report the sad news. At the end of May the Fried Hicken store that was to be my muse for numerous posts, passed on.

I have had a long time chicken lust that I have attempted to share with you, my sporadic readers. If you'll recall, the legend of the fried hicken began prior to my trip to Lisa's. On that fateful day, I met the scared asian man with no hicken. The hicken store became a place of mystery and disappointment to me and my friends (thats right, plural).

Although my hicken oriented lifestyle began here in the Fort, my chicken lust began in law school, as you may remember from the sad tale of a chicken place that never was.

The loss of the institution that was Fried Hicken is tremendous. Although a new building will come along, all many of us will see, is the giant hole in our heart that has been left by the demolition of the Hicken Hut.

People across the Fort are celebrating the new development and growth, but I think we need to work harder to preserve our history. Our hicken history.

Saturday morning there will be a small memorial at the site of the Fried Hicken Haven that Had no Hicken. We will pour out a sip of gravy for our lost hicken friends. Please feel free to join us.

Spiral Diner

No, I'm not posting this from a Prius while my wife crochets hemp clothing in the passenger seat on our way to live in a giant sequoia. I went to a vegan restaurant. I'll admit it. And even more, I enjoyed it.

In case you hadn't heard, Spiral Diner is our local vegan restaurant which has received tremendous praise from the Fort's vegan community. Its so popular, they opened another one in dallas. I think the article in the paper that discussed this made a big deal about Cowtown having a vegan place. Anyway, I'm here to provide a comprehensive review of my trip (to the Fort's location, of course).

First things first. Whenever somebody says they ate vegan food (in my experience) they always say something like "its good for what it is" or "its better than you'd think". To me that sounds like its not very good, but its better than the worst thing you can imagine ("so Mrs. Lincoln, other than that did you enjoy the show"). Before going, I made a big deal about how I wasn't going to order a hot dog made for vegans or some other meat dish, made for vegans. It seemed like the right idea to have - eat something that vegans can easily make at home - salad.

Wrong. I got the Jamaican Jerk BBQ San'ich. After looking at the menu, I just had to see how they took tempeh and made it into a meat type substance (wow, that sounds delicious). But before I get to that, let me start with our appetizer and drinks.

My wife and I started off with hummus (yuppie bean dip) which my cultured wife had eaten before. The chick pea spread came with a topping of paprika and a side of organic, free range, hemp corn chips. I was not suprised with how good it was, but I was surprised with how much I enjoyed it. Good stuff. We also enjoyed free trade iced tea with unrefined sugar and cage less ice. It made me feel bad about the herd of ice cubes I keep penned in my freezer.

For the main meal, my wife ordered a Sweet Luv'Us Hummus Wrap with fresh veggies (sweet potato, broccoli, avocado, cucumber and other things), and wrapped in a politically correct flour tortilla. I had a bite, and it was delicious, but I out Whatabur....Tempeh'ed her.

The Jerk "chicken" is made of tempeh, which appears to be a soybean patty with the beans softened and left in their normal form. The patty was marinated and blackened, then put on a piece of post-apartheid hydroponic wheat bread, and served open face with a special message from the chef written in mayo on the other piece of bread. You'll just have to go to see what it says. Here's a hint, it says "Jerk" and the waitress spits on you (not really).

The san'ich also comes with a slice of grilled pineapple, pickles, and red onions. I loaded up my san'ich and took a bite of my tempeh loaf.... The first bite fools you. At first, the tempeh is nicely formed and stays together. Immediately after the first bite, the soybeans shriek in pain and begin to run. Sort of. After the bond of the blackening (from the griddle) breaks, the patty begins to fall apart. Don't worry though, you've got 100% recycled toilet paper napkins to clean up with. The flavors are delicious. The food tastes like real food and you don't have to hear the screams of millions of chickens as you eat the sandwich. And seriously, its good. Not just, "it tastes good for what it is". The flavors are nice and there are contrasts with the crunchy onion and pickle, the tender tempeh loaf and the sweetness of the pineapple. For the record, I have not stated that it tastes like chicken. It tastes like flavored soybeans, made into a patty.

Most carnivores can go one meal without a piece of meat. The normal result, however, is that you miss out on a protein because said carnivore orders a salad. With Spiral Diner you can get a protein without eating a piece of meat. Despite my initial worry, I didn't walk out craving a bite of cow, or a goat leg. I was full and not remotely saddened that some poor lonely chicken breast was left along in the fridge.

As a restaurant, a vegan place is a great trip. Especially Spiral Diner. Its eclectic, funky, local, serves great food, and has friendly servers. As a lifestyle, vegan wont be how I describe myself ("How would I describe myself? Three words: hard working, alpha male, jack hammer. Merciless. Insatiable.") My vegan career (one meal) has been filled with deliciousness, however, after perusing my local grocery store, I decided its too expensive and time consuming. Plus I really like meat. No offense to tempeh, but there's a difference.

But that certainly doesn't mean this place should be skipped purely because a person deems him/herself a meat-eater. If you want good, affordable food, this place will fit the bill.

Prius drivers get one pesticide free, 100% ethanol, cageless, free labor, organic pair of birkenstocks. I drive a truck so they just stared at me with pity. Of course I was also wearing my full goat skin suit, alligator boots and a koala head hat. I also had a "W" sticker on my truck.

Just kidding. The people here are great, the food is delicious, though its lacking a "queso covered chicken fried bacon" quality, and the local nature makes this a must-eat place. Give it a try and let me know what you think.

Check out their link to the left. Spiral Diner is located next to Lili's on Magnolia so if you need something meaty after eating here, head over and ask Lili to make you a gorgonzola burger - the gorgonzola was free range before being harvested.

P.S., if I offended you with my descriptions or terminology in the post, then I sincerely apologize...hippie.

La Playa

Note:  Since this review was published, La Playa burned down.

How about a two dollar margarita on a patio? What? Its too hot outside to enjoy a patio during the summer in Texas? Go back to Pittsburgh, yuppie.

What if I told you that there was a patio that has addressed your heat related concerns? There is. Here's the rundown of "cool" ideas:

1. its covered to keep the sun out
2. fans to keep the air moving
3. wire mesh furniture to keep your obesity cool
4. margaritas
5. for two dollars
6. waitresses that don't speak english
7. more margaritas

I think thats all you need to know, but as usual, I'll ramble on until I get tired.
Two weeks ago, my wife and I joined some friends at La Playa, which is in the La Playa Maya familia. La Playa has a seafood theme with fish and shrimp entrees. The ceviche is beloved by our friends and the shrimp quesadilla was a big hit all around. I also had the tacos with carne asada and they were terrific with a side of cilantro and onions.
In case you were wondering, the chips and salsa are delicious. It may be the same stuff they have at the La Playa Maya down the street. Its great, especially while sitting out on the patio, drinking a margarita or beer.
Happy hour runs from sometime until seven. I'm not really concerned about the starting time, because unlike some of you, I can't sit around and drink all day. So the end time is where I get concerned. The margaritas, though not the best in town, are cold and satisfying with a bowl of chips, some guacamole and good mexican food.
Oh, did I mention the waitresses speak very little English? this makes it a great place to practice your spanish. And, this month they are celebrating their 20th birthday. So its a great time for a fiesta (thats spanish for a pinata).
To get to La Playa, go up Main out of downtown, just past North Side Drive and make a left on Central. The building will be on your right a short ways down. It's got a sign. The sign says "La Playa". Thats spanish for "the Playa". So, you know its authentic.
Check out the La Playa Maya link to the side and it will take you to their page. If you're suspicious of the coolness of the patio, you probably aren't a happy person and need to change your outlook on life. Remember, the margarita glass is half full at La Playa.

Whoohoo!!! - 20,000 hits

Welp, made it to 20,000 hits and I've yet to find someway to make millions doing this. But, I appreciate all the feedback and I hope some of you are still enjoying new restaurants thanks to some of these posts.

I hope you'll all continue to read as I continue to ramble on. There are still plenty of hole in the walls in the Fort.

If you've got a place that I need to try, let me know. If you disagree with a review of mine, let me know. I rarely make fun of people I don't know.

Coming up are reviews for La Playa (a sibling of La Playa Maya) and Spiral Diner (yeah, I went there).

Thanks to all of you for satisfying my egotistic needs by validating me through a hit counter.

-FortWorthHoleInTheWall