G-L-O-R-I-A

Van "the man" Morrison once said, "she make me feel so good, I wanna say she make me feel alright." For years people thought he was singing about some groupie. Turns out he was singing about the Oak Cliff restaurant that opened a location in Fort Worth and made us all feel alright.

Glorias is a Latin American restaurant in the Montgomery Ward hole and Fort Worth should thank its lucky stars that they chose to open a location here. I have been a number of times and never wrote a post about it but I recently had a meal there with some long-time friends and they wanted all the notoriety and fame that comes from being alluded to in such a popular forum.

If you're reading this when I post it, you know that we're amidst the holiday season, which means you should be going out to eat with long-time friends. And when you go out to eat with them, you should take them to places like Glorias for two reasons. First, they have lots of space to spread out and you can be loud without offending others. Second, if there are people you don't care to talk with, you can always pretend you didn't hear them.

The menu at Glorias is broken down into three main categories (that I care about). There are the Salvadorian options, the Salvatex options and the tex-mex options. I've tried items from each, but you're cheating yourself if you don't try one of the salva-influenced options. The great people of Salvadoriano (I believe its a Latin American country between Mexico and Chile) have a unique style of food that differs from tex-mex. A lot of the entrees include a thin steak that has been grilled, but unlike most tex-mex dishes, the steak stays in its complete form and is topped with a flavored sauce. In Salvadoriano they don't have knives so they don't have the luxury of cutting up meat like the Mexican people.
Everything I have had there is great. This last time I cheated myself and just had the chicken tacos al carbon. They were great but don't waste your time ordering them. You are probably thinking, "they'll make me skinny." No they wont. Chicken isn't healthy until its fried.
Some of my favorites are the Lechon Asado (pork tenderloin with an ancho chile sauce), Sopa de Gallina (chicken soup), the appetizer tamales (they're huge and come in a banana leaf), ceviche (on a tostada), sour cream chicken enchiladas (enchiladas that have cream and have sat out until they go sour), enchiladas verdes (monkey enchiladas), that was a test to see who is just skimming (and who is actually reading), and the Arrachera Adobada (skirt steak in tomato sauce). I would describe these in more detail but I have to go to work at some point.
In case that exhaustive list wasn't enough reason to go, let me give you another reason. You know how much I like hot sauce and chips, right (see A Letter to Benitos)? At Glorias, you get hot sauce (with lots of cilantro) and a black bean dip for your chips. Allsome!!!
Still not convinced? My marketing team has told me most of my readers are heavily influenced by alcohol. Glorias has alcohol. Do you like margaritas? They're good here. Do you like mojitos? They're also good here. Would you like to try some obscure peruvian beer? They have it.
So, whether you're a chips and salsa AND bean dip fan, a good food fan, a salsa (dancing not sauce) fan, or a booze-hound, Glorias has everything you need.
And now that I read the G-L-O-R-I-A lyrics a little more closely, I'm starting to think there is another meaning that is less than family friendly. So Mr. Morrison, shame on you for bringing smut and filthy talk to my world. Glorias the restaurant, thank you for bringing my friends to town and thank you to Mr. E for paying for my meal.
Let me know what you think. For those of you who have been to the Oak Cliff location, how does the Fort's location do in terms of compliance with the original?

Lunch Box

This post is a shout out for all the Mimis, Mawmaws, and Nanas out there!!! Holla!

Are you and your fellow ladies looking for a place that smells like your house to go have sandwiches and pie? Grab the walker and head to the Lunch Box. The Box is in a courtyard behind Fuego and serves...Lunch.

If you're headed over there on a weekday, get there early or be prepared to wait. I think if you bring a lady of age, you get moved to the front of the line. I went once and was rejected because I was by myself. I went back with my wife and they let us in, but only on a conditional basis - we had to knit.

Fort Worth Hole In The Wall guy, why are you picking on the Lunch Box? And Old People?

Because they asked for it...that's why. No. Its because the Lunch Box has a unique odor. The odor that makes you think of every grandmother's house in the world. Its like they put together a focus group of how to design the restaurant and the one thing they got out of it was that the smell of food doesn't attract people like the smell of a box of dead flowers and a dozen scented candles.

Along with Geritol, the Box also has food. And good food at that. Another aspect that makes it seem like you're at your grandma's house. There are specials. Grandmas usually don't have a specials board...but they should. When I went, the ham and cheese quiche was one of the special items. I ordered that and a chicken salad sandwich. They were both delicious. The quiche was cheesy and eggy and the chicken salad sandwich was not overly mayo-ey. However, while eating both, I kept wondering if I was minding all my manners. At one point I put my elbows on the table and a lady four tables over slapped the back of my head.

The wife had the club sandwich and bowl of fruit. The club sandwich was what you would expect. The fruit bowl was not. The fruit was fresh and the selection was broad - not just honeydew slices and cantaloupe. However, there was one unusual aspect to the fruit bowl. All of the fruit was served in a bowl of lettuce. Appetizing, you say? Theoretically. Except that it was a bowl of shredded lettuce, so all of the pieces of fruit came out with lettuce on them. I imagine rabbits and people needing fiber (...) find this ideal. I don't.

All in all, the food was good, but expected from a sandwich place. So its a good thing we ordered the chocolate pie. Otherwise this review would be over and you would be back at work or doing something productive with your life. The pie was a chocolate pie with whipped cream instead of meringue. What a saucy twist. Or maybe meringue is difficult to eat with dentures...

If you've got a spare granny on you, go to the Fuego alley and get yourself some tea room cuisine at the Lunch Box. The food will work for lunch, but you have to clean your plate before you can go out and play. Also, take thank you notes. You have to leave one before you leave.

Let me know how much you hate me now for making fun of grandparents.