Now, I am a Man

If you will recall, last May, a young boy entered a fried food eatery and suffered pains of anguish and remorse as he watched grown men - lumberjacks, Captain McCrea and Call, and bowlers - enjoy a queso covered chicken fried chicken. At the time, that young boy was afraid to request his heart's only desire - a queso covered chicken fried steak. That boy is now a man.

If you couldn't tell, I'm also in the midst of reading Lonesome Dove and will probably throw some more references in to this story. Recently, I was given the opportunity to return to Texas Grill and my queso and CFS lust returned. It's always been there, deep down in my heart, yearning to reach out and tell everybody of my desire. But its still too taboo. Fort Worth wasn't ready...so I thought.

As I approached the line, the sporting girl...no sorry...cashier, looked like she knew what I wanted. But was I actually going to ask for it or would I shakily avert my eyes and request something prepubescent, like catfish? No, now that I am a man, I stood strong and stated as clearly as possible..."I want chicken fried steak, but can you cover it in queso?" It was a question meant as a statement and she knew the answer was yes. It was always yes.

The people with me backed away in astonishment at my question that had beleaguered men throughout eternity. I stood strong. My chicken fried steak was coming with queso or else. The else would have actually been me ordering chicken fried steak with gravy. But young boys and girls, let me tell you. They put queso on that chicken fried steak. Because they knew what was good for them.

I assuredly grabbed my iced tea, with two limes, not just one, and sat down with the confidence of Newt. On the outside, I acted tough. But on the inside, I was scared. What if my queso was actually just shredded, melted cheddar? What if they forget and give me gravy? Do I have the courage to point out their folly? Surely I would.

All fear was lost when the meal came out. The waiter looked at me with obvious envy and asked if I had the queso covered chicken fried steak. I told him "yes" in a manner that let him know I was the only person capable of handling it. He probably already knew.

How was it you ask? Welp, it was sort of like I expected. More awesome than anything you have ever known. It was like all four episodes of Die Hard drinking Red Bull. It was like Chuck Norris and....another Chuck Norris. You need nun chucks just to reign in the awesome enough to eat it.

Ok, not really. The idea was terrific. The execution was weak. The queso was your typical velveeta cheese and they had sprinkled real shredded cheese on top, as though they could tease me. Men aren't easily teased. Although I do giggle easily.

A previous comment from "Ash" mentioned a queso with green chile sauce. That would have been good. Any better queso would have been good. The CFS itself was good. But the queso was only good in theory. To many this may seem a problem. To me, an opportunity. Who wants to help me open up a queso covered chicken fried steak restaurant? I'll admit, its a niche market. But think about it. Massey's is still around. Carshon's has nothing healthy worth ordering and its still around. All we need is a good location, a name, some good cheese and a bunch of willing young boys who want to become men.

Scratch that, I have the name: Lonesome Dove. ... Get it? That's a joke. Because there already is a Lonesome Dove. Maybe a better approach would be to convince Chef Tim Love to start making a delicacy such as this.

In fact, I will be so bold as to say this: Chef Love, if you start making a Queso covered CFS, I will be your first customer to try it. I will most likely, even pay for it.

Bold men say bold things.

Don't get the queso covered CFS from Texas Grill - stick with their other offerings. But do keep your eyes out for places with the necessary ingredients to make this Texican dish. For those of you are skeered of a little fat and grease, just remember what good ol' Gus once said, "It's not dying I'm talking about. It's living." If you can't enjoy a good meal while you're alive, whats the point in living longer?

Let me know if you're a man and you agree or if you're a sissy.

Texas Grill is located at 6550 Camp Bowie Blvd in the shopping center east of the Taco Cabana.

Bombay Indian Grill

I'm sorry its taken so long to post a new comment. I was waiting on my old Indian roommate to give me permission to use him as my token for all the jokes I would be making. His smoke signal hasn't arrived so I'll start without his permission.

You're confused now right? You're thinking, "wait, I don't want buffalo and plains grass." Don't worry, Bombay Indian Grill is actually from the Indians of the other side of the world, not the casinos across the border. And my roommate is actually Indian, not Native American. But when I called to excitedly tell him I ate Indian food he said, "you ate a buffalo?" Funny guy huh?

The Bombay Indian Grill is behind Chik-Fil-A, which is behind Central Market which is behind Borders which is behind Mi Cocina. It's in a strip center next to Sushi Axiom and would not appear to be the center of all Indian cuisine in my life, at first glance. That's because you don't know me.

One day, as my wife and I sipped our grande half caf, no whipped, double milk, frapacapamistocinis at starbucks we noticed this gem of the orient and thought it would make a good lunch trip. Turns out, it would make a good any trip, but only go at lunch.

At lunch they have the buffet. They may have this at dinner as well, but you'll pay more and the parking for Sushi Axiom will make you walk over 100 feet which is insane. We're not French. So go get the lunch buffet and don't worry about walking all of those calories off. They'll fall off while you're reading this.

It was recommended, by an avid reader (I have it on good authority that it was Ed Bass or Mayor Moncrief although all evidence to support that has disappeared) that I get the Chicken Tikka Marsala. Which sounds like a chicken dish, cooked in marsala wine, over a tiki torch. That's not what it is. It's cooked in a tandoor, which is an Indian earthen stove. I don't know if they dug a hole in the back of the restaurant or built one up, but for novelty sake, lets say they dug one out.

I mention this dish because its the one I remember above everything else. It was delicious. The flavors were so unique to me that I felt like I had taken a trip with my old roommate back to the days of school, but instead of eating pizza and drinking beer, we were in India and I had leprosy.

But the buffet has more than just this dish. There is saffron rice, other dishes, and then dessert. The dessert included a sort of rice pudding that looked like cottage cheese but tasted better. Much better. They also had fried puff balls of delicious. They are soaking in a sugary looking syrup and appear as though they taste like your future root canal. The flavor is much more subtle than that and the sweetness isn't overpowering.

A few other dishes I can accurately describe include a yellow bell pepper, onion and jalapeno dish which had obviously been cooked but was served cold was delicious but spicier than a lot of other foods I have had in my life. There was also an okra dish, meatballs (not beef) and a red chicken. The red chicken included pieces of chicken, that were red. I didn't catch much flavor from them but the chicken was prepared nicely.

I believe the buffet cost about 9 bucks and included all the incentive you need to call your old Indian roommate. I would describe the flavors in more detail, but quite honestly, I didn't recognize so many of them. I would say that 60-75% of the buffet was delicious, which gets my recommendation.

Please let me know if you think I'm on target or completely insensitive. My roommate said this would be ok.

Bombay Indian Grill is located at4625 Donnelly, behind the Chik-fil-a, which is behind the Central Market.