Scampi's

Note:  Since this review was posted, Scampi's has closed and is being replaced by a new restaurant.  Check back for further information.

I don't even think this place has any shrimp, but they named it Scampi's after Scampi Kokolous, the first Greek immigrant to Fort Worth's Magnolia Ave. There's a 55% chance this is incorrect.

From what I can tell and heard, Scampi's is a Mediterranean restaurant, just east of the Italebamexitalobesgrill Town area. It's on Magnolia between the Lili's/Panther City Bicycles/Spiral Diner area and the Paris Coffee Shop area. This little restaurant is a semi-high end hole in the wall with everything from calamari (ocean rocky mountain oysters - see Sushi Axiom review) to dolmas (the meat from a rare breed of llama). Between Scampi's and Lili's, Magnolia has developed a nice little gourmet district (its already named Magnolia - too bad because I had something really good for this one).

I was there with a very Greek food knowledgeable person and so I got the super secret information you'll never get. Unless you keep reading.

Here's the secret. Order the Greek Sampler. Every time. It comes with a bite of almost everything on the menu but don't let that stop you from ordering extra orders of that item. We had the Greek Sampler and the Moussaka. But the Greek Sampler comes with Moussaka you say? Well so what? Do you stop eating four cheezits? drinking two beers? reading stupid blogs? No, and thats why you should not stop eating moussaka. Ever. It's like lasagna but with eggplant and some sort of addictive narcotic. I have been shaking since my last visit.

And, in the tradition of being Mediterranean (salty ocean) everything is salty (a stretch you say? eh, maybe). So even though its BYOB, bring a bottle of water. They'll probably charge you a corking fee but its worth it.

The anti-pasta platter has sliced meats, cheddar and monterrey jack cheese and some relishes and is covered with olive oil. The calamari comes fried with some sauce to dip it in. Both great. My favorite dish though, were the dolmas. They're grape leaves stuffed with meat and rice and covered with a sauce that I'm not going to try and type. "Delish" says somebody with less writing talent than me. These are the unfried version of a Greek corn dog. Without a stick. And no fake meat. And no mustard. And you eat it with a fork. And it cost eight bucks. My wife says it more closely resembles an enchilada. Although she is correct, that advice is useful, and that goes directly against the point of this blog.

I also had an order of Moussaka which, as I said earlier, is like an eggplant lasagna. I've never knowingly had eggplant before. There may have been a surprise eggplant incident, but I was probably asleep. Eggplant = good. Just so you know. The dish was a bit salty but the taste was great. I think (from reading directly from the website) its pan fried eggplant, layered with meat, potato and cheese. The only thing that would make this better would be to fry it and cover it in queso. Alas, they don't offer a chimissaka (note to self, start a restaurant and only sell this).

A few things to know if you go. There is a three dollar corking fee if you bring your own bottle of wine. If you don't take a bottle of wine, they'll laugh at you in their snobby Greek way. Your meal and time here may take awhile, so sit back and enjoy. If you can, get a table by the window and look outside (or sit on the patio with a table by the window and look inside). Just look somewhere.

The waiters are very knowledgeable and will try not to make fun of you for asking stupid questions. So go and enjoy your evening. You'll either thank me or say nothing and continue to silently read and question why you're wasting your time reading this. Either way, enjoy and if somebody knows another Mediterranean place, please let me know.