Saturday, November 8, 2008

Holidays, Friends, Family, Food

The holiday season is fast approaching and that means one thing - visitors. But what do you do when your home is filled with family and friends from out-of-town and they get hungry? You take them out to one of the many fine Fort Worth establishments. As part of my required community service I am going to provide you with an exhaustive schedule of restaurants to take your visitors to, so that they get the full Fort Worth Experience (patent pending).

Below are three "weekends of food", which takes into account that some restaurants are not open on certain days. I have also provided options, based on price.

Option 1 - Jobless College Friends Come to Town/Family You Don't Like Enough To Spend Money On

Friday Dinner: Fred's. Get a burger and sit and watch a concert. Or walk down the street to any number of bars. In a year, you'll be able to walk to all the big new developments on West 7th.

Saturday Breakfast: Paul's for Doughnuts. They're cheap, its in a cool building, and for the family you don't like, its a great place to leave them. The drive to Paul's will give everybody something to talk about as you pass through the area just south of Downtown and the revitalized Magnolia area.

Saturday Lunch: Carshons. A greasy sandwich will hit the spot for most of your college friends who had a good time Friday night. For your family, there is pie. Pie brings families together.

Saturday Post-Lunch or Lunch Replacement:  Go to the Rahr Brewery.  They always have food on Saturday afternoons from 1-3 and you can get in and drink for only $7. 
Saturday Dinner: Fuzzy's. Queso, Tacos, Beer - $10. Kids will enjoy watching their mom and dad get drunk. Friends will enjoy the cheap food and drinks. Wear a purple shirt and you can pretend you're a TCU student.

Sunday Breakfast: Ol' South. There will be a crowd, but wait through it. Make all of your friends get the German Pancakes. Half of them wont like it but you never liked them anyways.

Sunday Lunch: Mama's Pizza. Send your guests off with a great pizza and get yourself a beer to celebrate a weekend accomplished.

Option 2 - You and your Yuppie friends who have some money but aren't the $30K Millionaires from east of here.

Friday Dinner: Joe T's. Get a pitcher of margaritas and a stack of cups and wait in line patiently. Weather permitting, sit outside and get the fajitas. I know many of you dislike the food but the fajitas wont kill you. Besides, its the atmosphere that you're going for. After you're done, have the designated driver take you to downtown and have a good time.

Saturday Breakfast: You're a yuppie, admit it. Go to Taverna for brunch. It's good.

Saturday Late Lunch: Kincaid's. Saddle up to the old deli counter and everybody should order a bacon cheeseburger but then split fries or onion rings. Save some room for dinner.

Saturday Dinner: Cafe Piola. It's disgustingly cute in its old house. Order a bottle of wine and enjoy your lengthy dinner. If you try to find Piola and get lost, just go back to Camp Bowie and head down to Winslow's Wine Cafe.

Sunday Breakfast: Ol' South. I know, I mentioned this one earlier, but this works for all kinds. Don't turn your nose up at the coffee...you snob.

Sunday Lunch: Spiral Diner. "Oh look how adventurous we are!" Who needs meat, right?

Option 3 - Your Wealthy Parents or In-laws

Friday Dinner: Lili's Bistro - Great dinner menu with fancy selections, wine, and dessert for your dearly beloved family to pay for. Plus its got a cool interior.

Saturday Breakfast: Vidalia's - Malt Vanilla pancakes, sweet potatoes with gravy, etc. They need your business and you need their southern charm in the morning.

Saturday Lunch: Cooper's.  It's BBQ in the Stockyards.  It's pricey, and you can kill many hours of mindless questions all while drinking a cold beer and eating some delicious BBQ.  Plus, afterwards you can walk around the stockyards and amaze your family with all the touristy stuff they really wanted to see.
Saturday Dinner: Reata. Its probably cliche, but you have to go to Reata. It's not the most expensive place in town but its a classic. You can talk about James Dean and explain how Reata used to be at the top of the Tower before the Tornado attacked Fort Worth. Try to do dinner on the rooftop if you can. They'll love it and you more.

Sunday Brunch: The Modern. Skip breakfast and go for brunch. The food here is fantastic and her parents will think you're a classy upstanding citizen. Until you take them here, they assume you're a dolt who is wasting their daughter's time. Trust me.


There you go. Some of my favorites have been left off, but I tried to give a variety of options. Let me know if you've got any changes you would make.

18 comments:

Rock Girl said...

THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU! I found your blog by accident a couple of months ago and have been reading it ever since. I absolutely love it! I'm new to the area (moved here from Ohio in January) and my parents are coming to visit for Christmas this year. They will be here for a week and I have already been stressing about which restaurants to take them to while they are here. YOU ROCK!

Michael Bourgon said...

Fred's = cheap? Since when?

Kacey said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
FortWorthHoleInTheWall said...

Rock Girl, glad I could be of some help. Thanks for reading. Hopefully there will be some more comments to provide you with a bit more variety and information.

Michael, Fred's is still cheap if you get the fred burger, fries and a drink. Plus, when it rains, beer is on happy hour price.

Zee said...

I would do a mix and match ... iHope for breakfast (shocking I know, but this time of year they have Pumpkin Pancakes which are pure loveliness), Lili's at lunch (weekdays only) so it's cheaper, Fuzzy's for dinner (love their big bowl salad), and Cafe Aspen for dessert (been wanting their angel food strawberry cake lately).

Oh yeah ... La Familia for flaming margaritas!

FortWorthHoleInTheWall said...

Zee, you bring up a good point that I forgot to mention.

If your friends really care about what they eat, they'll come into town early enough on Friday so you can take them to Lili's for the House Burger.

Aggie said...

Take your college friends to the Saucer for beer and good, inexpensive food, like the Big Dipper, Hippie Hollow or a big slice of pizza. Sit outside and listen to music.

Anonymous said...

Montgomery Street Cafe for breakfast for a homey, friendly breakfast that is so FWHITW.

Jeremy said...

FWHITW, great Post! Thank you!

Paris Coffee Shop is always a good Saturday morning breakfast for under $10. Their smoked sausage (make sure you say 'smoked') omelet is amazing...pair it with biscuits and gravy, a cup of coffee and you'll be riding high!

I'd also throw the Blue Mesa brunch in there as a good Yuppie Sunday option...

FortWorthHoleInTheWall said...

Jeremy, good call on the yuppie brunch option of Blue Mesa. I came through with my bias towards Ol' South here. But I wouldn't steer anybody away from Paris if they wanted to give it a shot. It would work as a replacement for a trip to Paul's (which is down the street).

Anonymous, I didn't include Montgomery Street Cafe because I still haven't been. I know. I suck.

Thanks for reading.

Anonymous said...

I've been telling you to go to Montgomery street FOREVER!!! What will it take? Am I going to have to TAKE YOU MYSELF? Just warning you, if I do, you have to eat with MY CHILDREN!! Is that scary enough for you? One of them puts copious amounts of ketchup ON EVERYTHING! It isn't pretty. Montgomery Street opens at 6. GO. GET THE SPECIAL. NO EXCUSES. Stop whining. It is such a hole in the wall. What is the name of your Blog? Yeah, thought so.

Michael Bourgon said...

Anon is totally spot on. Montgomery Street Cafe is cheap, awesome, and a hole in the wall. The only issue I have is all the cigarette smoke - but I haven't been there in a few months.

That being said, yeah, go.

Oh, and congrats on getting name-checked in FWWeekly. You're in the leagues now! :D

FortWorthHoleInTheWall said...

I think the smoke issue is the main reason I haven't been. I don't like to get my clothes all smokey before I go to work. It raises all sorts of questions.

Anonymous said...

wake up, boys and smell the fresh air! Remember the new smoking rules? No smoky haze with your eggs over medium, biscuits, gravy, hashbrowns and the best thick-cut bacon you've ever had!
thanks, MB, for the validation.
fwhitw, you didn't respond to my invitation. am I going to have to drag you in there?

FortWorthHoleInTheWall said...

I'll go, I'll go. But I can't go with kids. Not because I don't like kids, but because I want to go old-man style. I'll take my paper, order my coffee, read, munch on some breakfast, and complain about young people

Butter Tart said...

Oh my goodness... I just love stumbling across random bits of extremely useful and interesting pieces of information. Especially when it comes to food hidden away in the neatest pockets of my favorite city. So, I commend you. Gold star! Oh, and have you tried Fred's beef tacos in a flour tortilla? A-M-A-Z-I-N-G. And that's all I hafta say about that.
Thanks FWHITW!!

Butter Tart said...

Oh my goodness... I just love stumbling across random bits of extremely useful and interesting pieces of information. Especially when it comes to food hidden away in the neatest pockets of my favorite city. So, I commend you. Gold star! Oh, and have you tried Fred's beef tacos in a flour tortilla? A-M-A-Z-I-N-G. And that's all I hafta say about that.
Thanks FWHITW!!

FortWorthHoleInTheWall said...

Butter Tart, I haven't had the tacos at Freds yet. But only because they don't come on the side of a Fred Burger. And because everybody would judge me.

But I'll give them a try. Thanks for reading.