Fried Hicken

I know what you're thinking:

"Fried Hicken, that must be some sort of inside joke. Oh I hope I'm let in. I hate being on the outside. Please let me in!!!"

So here it is. Have you seen the place just off of Belknap in downtown, before you get to the Palisades? Its a little convenience store on the north side of the road on the west side of the train tracks. Well, the sign says something about "Beer, Ice, Fried hicken" with a missing "c". I went in with a friend once to get some fried hicken but the scared looking man behind the counter said they had no hicken. It was a sad day.

And you're wondering, why do I read this rambling blog when I just want to know about hole in the walls. I don't know, but I appreciate it.

Lisa's Chicken. Thats the place. There are actually a few of them. I have now been to the one in Haltom City near the Race Street/Belknap intersection and the one on University, north of Seventh. Since the University location falls within the FW parameters of this blog, I'll discuss that one.

I went with a friend a few nights back and upon entering, we saw a decal on the window of the former pizza hut turned hicken house that said you could get a family meal of 15 tenders, two sides and rolls for only $11.99. If you remember what it was like to enjoy meals that allowed you to break a $10, you'll appreciate this. With drinks, our total came to about $14. We could have easily added a third person without running out of food. Along with our hicken tenders, we ordered mashed potatoes and fried okra. The potatoes came in a styrofoam container and were potatoes. The okra came in a box and was equivalent to the annual gross domestic okra intake (GDOI) of Idaho. Seriously, it took a fork lift to get it to our table.

So, we sat, with our 459 tons of okra, our potatoey potatoes, our rolls, and of course, our 15 hicken tenders. For those of you that eat hicken tenders, you know there are two kinds. The stringy, narrow tenders that have soggy crusts. And the tenders that come from the angels. They are juicy, plump, and covered in a crispy crust that makes you feel like a king...that only eats hicken tenders. They look like they come from giant five foot hickens somewhere in hina. They're huge. Without exaggerating at all, it took a crane to lift each tender. The okra, by the way, came from those same hicken tender bearing angels. It was divine. Crispy, hot, okra-ey. You know what I mean. Like the best okra you ever had at Luby's on Sunday afternoon.

Well, after four or five giant hicken tenders, I died. But only temporarily. After being revived by a splash of gravy, I counted the damage. Between the two of us, we ate about 8 tenders. We still had seven to go. We had to call it quits though. My friend called our sherpas, who hauled the load to my truck, and we left, destined to eat the remaining hicken tenders the next day.

What should you learn from this tale of the giant hicken tender place? Its that you should never order the family meal unless you actually have a family with you. Second, you should always schedule a coronary for the day after a hicken fest like we had. My heart screamed in the night. Apparently my stomach and arteries disagree on what is delicious.

Go grab a family (any will do) and enjoy some hicken tenders at Lisa's. I had fried hicken at the Haltom City location and would also recommend that. But fried hicken isn't funny.

The Fort Worth location is located at 500 University Drive.